The Inevitabilities of Dating

Hello all!!! Greetings and salutations to all who may be reading, and hopefully enjoying, this entry. I just felt the need to write this morning after talking to a few of my friends about their recent dating escapades. I guess I'm just curious as to what goes on in people's minds. So this morning I have a few questions I'd like to discuss...

1. Is deceit an inevitable player in the dating game?
2. Why do we choose not to believe people when they show us how they feel with their actions?
3. How can you protect yourself while being open to the possibilities?

Personally speaking, I have to say I hate dating. I honestly don't know how to do it. I'm finally able to admit that, lol. My friends will tell you, I'm good at being in a relationship and I feel most comfortable when I'm in one. But there's a reason for that. I don't like the uncertainty that comes along with the dating process. It seems to me that people inevitably try to deceive the person their "just dating" for whatever reason. I am a person who tries to get everything out in the open. I like to lay the cards on the table so the other person knows what they're getting into and vice versa. I have no time for game-playing or game-players. But when dating, it seems that that's all people want to do...

I guess I just don't understand why people feel the need to misrepresent themselves, their feelings, or their intentions. I mean if you're honest from jump street, you'll have a lot less headaches to deal with later. But people never seem to understand that when dating. Somebody always feels they have to have the upper hand in things which leads to nothing but problems, of course. I just don't get it. If all you want is a cuddy buddy...let that be known. I'm sure there's a lot of females out there who would definately be down for that. If you just want to chill out with somebody but you're not ready for a relationship, get that clear from the beginning so that nobody's confused about where things are going (I made sure I did this with my man-friend...he may be the only guy I'm dealing with but I'm definitely not ready to call him my man). Honesty can be hard to pull off at times, I won't front, but when you put it into practice it pays off in the long run.

For that matter, when people show us their true character, why do we choose to try to figure out excuses for why they behaved in that manner? People say that when a person shows you their true colors, who they really are, save yourself some trouble and heartache and believe them. But for some reason this is the hardest thing in the world for people to do, especially people who are women. We seem to like a challenge more than we like to be treated right. If somebody is showing they're not interested by a lack of communication, consideration, or pursuit in general...don't try to justify or explain away their behavior. Sometimes you have to take people at face value and go on about your business in order to keep your heart and sanity in tact.

But protecting yourself from undue pain does not mean that you cut yourself off from too quickly from a possible romantic candidate. I have a few friends who have this Zero Tolerance thing when it comes to most guys. They meet a dude, talk to him a little, start liking him and thinking what it could turn into. Sadly, that guy inevitably does something to offend them and he's subsequently kicked to the curb. What's funny to me is the fact that they put this Zero Tolerance policy into effect typically when dealing with dudes that don't really have them LIKE THAT. The guys that they really like, on the other hand, they give all the chances in the world. These guys can give pretty clear indicators that they're not as interested as my friends may be, but it doesn't matter. They opn themselves up to these guys thinking that they're being open to the positive possibilities that may result. Sadly, they wind up opening themselves up for heartache as well.

There's no way around the possibility that you will be hurt when opening yourself up to someone new. That's just life and there's no way to protect oneself from romantic pain excluding the ending of one's life. The only thing we can do is be as honest as possible and hope for the same in return. On top of that we have to take what people show us as the truth. We can't invent a truth just so we can sleep at night and feel better about ourselves. Life is what it is and nothing more. It's time we start dealing with things as they really are. When we do that, we'll be able to deal with heartache, if not protect ourselves from it.

Valentine's Day is coming up and I'll definitely be writing more. Until then, all you lovers out there better keep hope alive. I know I am!!!! LOL.

Blessings
XOXOXOX.......;-)