To Date or Not to Date...Hmmm

So this past weekend I decided to go out and have a good time with some friends and family of mine. We went out to a local spot but I wasn't feeling in my element. For one thing, I didn't like what I had on, I wasn't in the best of moods, and the club was kinda lacking in its offerings of the opposite sex. To say the least, the night started out kinda low. Thankfully tho, it got better as the night went on and I wound up really enjoying myself. I enjoyed myself so much that I considered doing something that I haven't done in like 2 years. I almost gave my number to somebody. OMG!!

As I've said in prior posts, I'm newly single. With that being said, I need you guys to understand my situation. I am a young woman who has lived a very sheltered life in many ways. Like I've said before my parents were very strict, yadda yadda yadda, so I didn't experience a lot of things growing up. But aside from that, I've lived a sheltered life as far as relationships are concerned as well. I mean, I've only had 3 real relationships in my life. The first lasted for about a year, the second lasted for almost 3 years, and I dealt with this last guy for almost 2 years. As you can see, I pretty much deal in extended terms, lol. After my 3 year relationship, I pretty much jumped right into the nex thing. To be honest, I've never really been by myself, for real for real, and grown. All of my adult life I've been attached to somebody. So this whole single thing is really weird to me. It's "a whole new world, a brand new place for me to see," as Jasmine from Aladin would say, lol. I'm not sure if I like it really.

So last Friday at the club, I was mixing, mingling, dancing, and all that good stuff and this brother comes up to me. He had a cool lil swagger too. I mean, I have a thing for men who exude confidence about themselves and this guy definitely did that. We were just chit-chatting and he bought me a drink (side-bar: I just now started having guys offer to buy me drinks. What's that about? So confused, but I'm glad I can keep my money in my pocket, lol). I was still talking to this dude because I was glad to find that he could hold his own and sometimes lead the conversation we were having. I mean we were discussing politics, the club scene, love and relationships, and life in general. It was a good conversation and it was fun too cuz Sade was in the mix being that I had been drinking a bit, lol.

I'll be honest, I was enjoying his company. I mean, everybody likes to have welcomed attention from the opposite sex and it had been a minute since I had that in person. But when he asked me for my phone number and if we could see each other again, I kinda froze. I've never been one to give out my number all willy nilly anywayand that's probably why I've only had 3 boyfriends. I just didn't know what to say. I mean, he seemed like a nice guy. He works as an engineer for Delphi. He had a healthy dose of swagger. He was intriguing and interesting in conversation and, to top it all off, he was attractive. But I couldn't take that step. Not just yet. I wound up not really saying anything. Luckily he understood what that meant so I didn't have to elaborate at all as to what my facial expression meant. We just continued talking and he made sure he gave me his card at the end of the night.

I'm not sure about this dating thing. I get my fair share of come-ons, cat-calls, "How you doing?" with a look up and down and a lick of the lips on a daily basis but I've always felt like that doesn't justify me giving someone access to my life. Like I said, I've never been with anybody who wasn't a friend of mine first. But how do you explore the dating scene with that type of mentality? That's what I'm wondering now.

I'm cautious to say the least. I guess it's because I know how I am once I open up to a man, romantically. Once you have me, you have me until you show me that you don't deserve me and what I have to offer. I love hard and well. So I don't let people in unless I feel URGED to. Call me stank or stuck up if you want to but a simple "How you doing? You got a man?" is not gonna get you anywhere with me. And this guy semed to understand that probably because he's older than most guys that approach me. But even tho, I enjoyed his company I still couldn't go there.

I don't know when you should start dating after a relationship ends. It's just a date, right? There's a lot of answers to that question. Some people would say that you should throw yourself into the dating game once you're single. A homeboy of mine reminded me of the saying that some women live "The Best way to get over one man is to get under another." Other people would say that you should be alone for a while so you can really get over your ex. Others might say that there's nothing wrong with dating as long s you're not trying to hop into a new relationship just like that. And still others would say that you date, have sex, start a new relationship, or whatever based on when you feel inclined to and not one second sooner or later. I like that last one. I guess I'll know when I wanna really start that journey. And when I do, I already have one number in my lil black book, lol.


Til then I'm handling business. Until next time...